Your First Time Doing Anal?

These 5 Steps Will Get Your Ass Ready (and Craving It)

if you’re here it’s probably because your man has started dropping hints — or straight-up saying — that he really, really wants to be inside your backdoor. And right now that idea makes you clench (both literally and emotionally). You love him, you want him happy and obsessed with YOU, but the thought of anal feels scary, uncomfortable, maybe even a little threatening.

Worse, you’ve noticed him scrolling certain videos, liking certain pictures, or getting that far-away look when a scene comes on. Your stomach drops because you know exactly what he’s imagining… and it’s not with you. Yet.

I’ve been there. The quiet fear that if I don’t give him this one thing, someone else will. The jealousy mixed with resentment mixed with “why does he need this so badly?”

Here’s the truth I learned the hard way: when you own your backdoor on YOUR terms — slowly, sensually, and for YOUR pleasure first — everything flips. He stops fantasizing about other women because the reality with you is hotter, tighter, and a thousand times more intimate than anything he’s watching on a screen. Suddenly you’re the fantasy. You’re the one he can’t keep his hands off. And the best part? You actually love it. You crave it. You ask for it.

That’s exactly what these 5 steps did for me. They turned “I guess I’ll let him try so he stops looking elsewhere” into “Get over here right now and take my ass because I need it.”

Here are the exact 5 steps that saved my sex life (and honestly, my relationship). Do them in order, at your own pace, and watch him forget every other woman exists.

Step 1 – Re-wire Your Brain So You Actually Want It (Instead of Just Giving It Out of Fear)

Start here or nothing else works. For 7–14 days, every single night, get in bed alone and make anal part of your fantasy (it helps to fantasize other guys). Touch yourself the way you already love, but let one finger rest softly against your back entrance while you imagine him sliding in slowly and making you come harder than ever. Whisper to yourself: “This is mine. I get to feel this pleasure. He’s lucky I’m even considering sharing it with him.”
The goal: turn fear into ownership and curiosity into craving. When your body starts getting wet just thinking about it, you’ve won half the battle — and he hasn’t even touched you there yet.

Step 2 – Make “Getting Ready” So Sexy He Can’t Think Straight

Turn hygiene into foreplay. Take long, steamy showers where you massage your cheeks and tease the outside until you’re turned on. Use a tiny warm-water rinse if you want that extra fresh feeling. Finish with coconut oil so you’re silky and smell like dessert. Walk out of the bathroom naked and watch his jaw drop. You’re not “preparing for anal” — you’re seducing him with the promise that something incredible is coming… when YOU say so.

Step 3 – Fall in Love With Your Own Ass First (Solo Sessions That Make You Addicted)

Spend at least a week (or two) playing with yourself using only your fingers and tons of lube. Start with slow circles, progress to one finger, then two — always while rubbing your clit. Do it until you’re the one moaning and pushing back for more. When you can easily take two of your own fingers and come hard from it, you’ve taken the power back. Now when he thinks “anal,” he’ll picture YOU coming undone, not some porn star. Looking at yourself in the mirror helps. Explore few positions and see what you like the best.

Step 4 – Let Him Worship You Until You’re Beg

Invite him in for a long massage night. Tell him the rules: he may only do exactly what you’ve already done to yourself. He drizzles warm oil, kisses every inch of your ass like it’s sacred, and uses one slow, lubed finger until you’re grinding against his hand saying “more.” You stay in total control. By the end of the night he’ll be the one desperate and thanking his lucky stars he gets to touch you at all.

Step 5 – The Night You Give It to Him

When the night finally arrives, you’ll feel it in your body—warm, open, humming with desire instead of nerves. That’s how you’ll know you’re ready. Set the scene just for you: soft golden light, your favorite slow, sexy playlist, warm sheets, and that quiet knowing that tonight, your ass is yours to give—and you’re doing it your way. Start by warming some silicone lube in your hands and stroking him slowly from tip to base, watching his breath hitch as he gets slick and hard for you. Then lie back, knees gently drawn in, and let him pour another thick ribbon of lube over your entrance. Have him tease just the first inch or two inside with his finger—soft, slow, gentle—until your body relaxes around the sensation and your breath deepens with every tiny circle.

Now climb on top, facing him, in full control. Let your clit press against his lower belly as you lean forward and guide just the head of him to your ass. Don’t rush. Let it rest there, warm and heavy, while you kiss him, rock your hips, and let that pressure build into pure want. As your body starts to open naturally, exhale slowly and guide him in—just a little. Let your ass welcome him in inch by inch, melting around the stretch, your pleasure always leading the way. Pause. Breathe. Add more lube. Rub your clit with slow circles or press a vibrator right where it counts, and stay still as you savor the delicious fullness.

Only when your body craves more do you slide down deeper—never pulling back, just easing forward in the tiniest, hungriest movements. Every pause is a chance to kiss, to moan, to whisper how good he feels inside your tight, glistening ass. Keep your clit lit up the entire time—because when that deep, internal pressure meets that sweet, direct touch, your first orgasm builds fast. It starts low in your belly, then radiates everywhere—until you’re pulsing around him, breathless, glowing, fully claimed in the best way.

You can stay on top, riding slow and shallow, or slide into spooning, where he slips back in easily, holds you close, and moves with long, lazy strokes that keep you soaked and trembling. Let him touch your clit while he fills you. Tell him everything—“right there,” “just like that,” “don’t stop”—because this kind of pleasure deserves to be worshipped out loud. And when the second orgasm hits—deeper, fuller, even more intense—you’ll feel it in every part of you. It’s the kind of release that shifts something inside, bonds you both, and leaves your body buzzing long after he’s done.

When you’re ready to come back down, just pause, let him soften a little, and lift off slowly. He’ll hold you close, clean you gently, and wrap you in that sweet, skin-on-skin afterglow that only comes from a night where you took your time, followed your body, and owned every moment.

You didn’t just give him your ass tonight—you opened a door to your next level of pleasure. And girl, the view from here? Unforgettable.

Not everything will always go smoothly — you might need more time to prepare, or the experience may not feel as enjoyable as you'd hoped. Here are some common thoughts that can come up, and how to navigate them

1. “I’m not really feeling it anymore.”

Problem: You were into it at first, but halfway through, something shifts—maybe discomfort, a mood drop, or it just isn’t doing it for you.
Solution: Your body, your rules. There’s nothing wrong with pulling the plug. You can shift positions (like rolling into spooning), and say something soft but clear like, “Can we switch things up, baby? I want to feel you another way.” If you want to end it but still keep the vibe warm, stroke him slowly while whispering something sexy like, “You feel so good—I want to finish you off with my mouth instead.” That way, you exit without guilt and keep the connection strong.

2. “He’s taking too long and I want it to be over.”

Problem: He's loving it... a little too much. You’re done, but he’s not even close.
Solution: Time to speed things up—in a sexy way. Add visual and vocal stimulation: moan into his ear, tell him how tight he feels, or whisper something dirty like, “Come for me, baby… fill my ass. I want to feel you throb inside me.” Grab a vibrator and let it buzz against your clit so he gets turned on watching you use yourself. Or tighten your ass muscles around him—pulsing in sync with your breath—which feels amazing for him and can bring him to the edge fast.

3. “It just doesn’t feel good—what’s wrong with me?”

Problem: You feel pressure, not pleasure. It’s not turning you on.
Solution: First, know this: there's nothing wrong with you. Anal pleasure takes practice, patience, and the right mood. If you’re not there, pivot to what does feel good. Ask him to pull out slowly, and start stimulating your clit with a toy while he strokes himself beside you—or slip him between your thighs or back into your pussy if you're still in the mood. Next time, add more foreplay, go slower, or use a slimmer toy before the real thing. Your body needs to feel invited, not pressured.

4. “I want to feel more pleasure from it—right now it’s just him getting off.”

Problem: It feels like it’s all about his pleasure, not yours.
Solution: Make it yours. Grab your favorite vibrator or start rubbing your clit—your pleasure needs to stay center-stage.Try pressing the toy between your body and his belly if you’re on top, or ask him to stroke your clit from behind if you're in doggy. Another trick: slip a small plug or finger into your vagina during anal—double stimulation can feel insane. And moaning isn’t just for him—it can turn you on too. Make sounds that turn you on and help you reconnect to your pleasure.

5. “I feel self-conscious or nervous in the moment.”

Problem: Even if everything’s physically fine, your mind is overthinking—how you look, smell, or if he’s judging.
Solution: First: he’s not judging. If he’s in your ass, he’s into it. Still, if your brain is spiraling, shift your focus outward. Look into his eyes. Talk dirty. Say things that make you feel sexy: “Do you like how tight my ass feels?” or “You love watching me take you like this, don’t you?” Confidence can be faked at first, but it builds fast when you see how much he adores it. And if your mind still won’t calm down, change the energy—move to oral, cuddling, or take a break. You’re not a porn scene. You’re a goddess in full command of her body.

My Story – From “Hell No” to a Full-On Addiction

Let me tell you the truth: the first time I had anal sex as an adult, I wasn’t ready. Not even close.

I didn’t plan it, didn’t prep for it, and definitely didn’t think it would become something I’d crave. It happened with a colleague during a business trip — someone I was insanely attracted to, even though I already had a partner. He started teasing the idea that “anal isn’t cheating,” as if that made it okay. I laughed it off at first, chalked it up to wine-fueled banter on the plane. But with every drink, every lingering glance, and every dirty whisper… the idea started to slip under my skin.

By the time we hit the hotel bar, I was buzzed, horny, and curious. I hadn’t done anal since college — and even then, I didn’t enjoy it. But somehow, his obsession made it feel different. I liked being wanted that much. I liked being told I’d love it. That I was tight, hot, and would be begging for more.

We ended up in my hotel room. I took a long, hot shower, trying to calm my nerves — and stretch, just a little. He was already naked, already hard, already waiting for my ass like it was a gift he couldn’t wait to unwrap. But the moment I saw his cock — thick, long, veiny — I literally said, “Oh, hell no.”

He smiled. “We’ll go slow. You’ll love it. Trust me.”

That first night? It didn’t go in. Not even close. We spent three hours with warm oil, deep ass massages, gentle fingering, teasing, spanking, clit play — all of it. He pressed the head against my hole over and over, but my body just wouldn’t open. It wasn’t pain, exactly — just a deep, locked-up resistance. Still, I let him keep trying. Not because I had something to prove to him, but because I had something to prove to myself.

Night two: same foreplay, same process — but this time, one finger slipped in. Then two. Then, finally, the tip of his cock. He only got halfway in, but I gasped so hard I almost forgot where I was. It was so full. So thick. So real.

Night three was the turning point. By then, my body had started to understand. The massages weren’t just relaxing — they were turning me on. My clit was throbbing before he even touched it. And when he finally slid in halfway again, my whole body clenched and wanted it. It wasn’t just about giving in anymore — it was about owning it. I started to grind back. I came hard on his hand while he stayed deep inside my ass.

It wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t smooth. But it changed me.

That week flipped a switch I didn’t know I had.

After that trip, we kept going. It started casual — once a week, then twice. But soon, I was addicted. Like, full-on can’t-stop-thinking-about-it addicted. Every day after work, we had our routine: I’d pull out my vibrator, bend over, lube up, and he’d slide into my ass like it belonged to him. Two to three minutes, max — and we were both done. Orgasms that made my legs shake. His cum dripping out of me while I moaned into his thumb as I was sucking it, satisfied in a way that regular sex didn’t always give me.

That feeling of being filled, stretched, claimed — it hooked me. Not because I felt used. Not because it was forbidden. But because it was mine. My ass became my secret weapon. Something I could give when I wanted, when I was in control. And once I let go of the fear and started chasing my pleasure — that’s when it became a true turn-on.

Now? Anal is part of my regular sex life. Not every time. Not every guy. But when I want to blow someone’s mind? When I want to make a man absolutely obsessed with me? When I want to feel like a literal goddess? That’s when I let him in.

Because I’m not scared anymore. I’m not doing it to keep a man. I’m doing it because I love how it feels. Because I claimed my backdoor, rewired my brain, and now — I own it.

Now, I know what a lot of you are probably wondering: “Where do you prefer he finishes during anal?”

Let me be honest — the first round always goes inside my ass. No question. There’s just something about the heat, the fullness, and the way it melts into my body that turns me on even more. It makes everything feel smoother, wetter, more effortless — especially if we’re going for round two.

And believe me… we usually do.

Final Thoughts

Look, not everything will go perfectly. You might need a few false starts, a lot of lube, or a few deep breaths to get through that first time. But when you take your time — when you prepare your body and your mind — something shifts.

You stop doing it just for him, and start doing it for you. And once that happens?

Pleasure becomes power.

Addiction becomes ownership.

And your ass? Becomes the secret weapon in your bedroom — and in your confidence.

You’re not just giving him something new. You’re becoming something new.

Best Anal Tips & Positions for Maximum Pleasure

I stood against the desk, trembling slightly as I lifted my skirt and parted my legs, whispering “Please be gentle…”

Miss IntimateMiss Intimate